When you’re deep in the throes of wedding planning, the checklist can feel never-ending. Sure, you have your dress, the venue, the catering . . . but what about your bridal arms? It’s not surprising that people want to look and feel their best on such a big day (nor is there anything wrong with that), but the internet often has a much narrower view of what bridal bodies are “supposed to” look like.
“Welcome to day three of the bridal arms series, where I show you exactly what I did to sculpt and strengthen my upper body,” one fitfluencer says in a May 7 TikTok. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with this video (who doesn’t love a quick and accessible upper body workout?), you don’t need to have super-toned arms in order to get married. You’re the one walking down the aisle after all . . . not your triceps.
“You’re the one walking down the aisle after all . . . not your triceps.”
When we assign labels like these to regimens featuring uber-fit models and influencers (remember the buzz surrounding Miley Cyrus’s “Pilates arms”?), it suggests we also have to look like them — or at least want to. But frankly, your wedding is the day you should feel most like yourself. So why are we still pressuring brides to follow rigorous fitness plans and meet extreme goals?
“Social media can create unrealistic standards for brides, and chasing those ideals often leads to unsustainable approaches to nutrition and fitness,” says certified strength and conditioning coach Katie Wilder Thomas, MS, CSCS. “Society does promote a lot about physique-oriented goals — especially pre-wedding,” trainer Grace Freyre Sands agrees. “I think we need to shift the conversation and talk more about the internal benefits of a fitness routine before your big day.”
Ultimately, bridal arms (or is it . . . just arms?) are whatever you want them to be. And truthfully, they’re going to look different for everyone. Read on to see how to take some of the pressure off so you can say “I do” to bridal fitness on your own terms.
Experts Featured in This Article
Katie Wilder Thomas, MS, CSCS, is a certified nutrition coach and certified strength and conditioning coach at Future.
Grace Freyre Sands is a fitness instructor and trainer at Form.
What Experts Think About “Bridal Arms”
Our experts can appreciate that some brides might want to focus on fitness ahead of their wedding. “Celebration comes with pressure, especially when it comes to looking your best,” Wilder Thomas says. “But what if, instead of fixating on our insecurities — because we all have them — we focused on building true self-confidence?”
Rather than obsessing over a certain physique (bridal arms included), try leaning into more meaningful fitness goals. For instance, Sands leads a bridal fitness program that focuses on strengthening the mind, body, and soul. “We do cardio sections in my class that I call ‘dance floor cardio’ because I wanted to stay on the dance floor my entire wedding night — not to burn more calories,” she says. “It is about feeling radiant, confident, and happy from within. That energy then radiates out.”
That said, the concept of bridal arms and wanting to achieve them isn’t going anywhere. “Let’s be honest: as long as there’s profit to be made, there will always be marketing aimed at exploiting insecurities,” Wilder Thomas says. Still, brides are powerful consumers, and there’s plenty of opportunity to question these narratives when they do inevitably arise. “Today’s brides are more informed and mindful than ever,” Wilder Thomas says. “That awareness makes us stronger, more confident, and far less likely to fall for the pressure to conform.”
How to Reframe Bridal Fitness
If WeddingTok is getting to you, there are many strategies you can use to get in a better headspace. Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Look at the bigger picture: Remember your wedding day is not the be-all and end-all. “Instead of treating your wedding as a finish line, think of it as the beginning of a new chapter,” Wilder Thomas says. This might encourage you to build healthier, more sustainable habits instead of falling for unrealistic goals and frustrating regimens.
- Avoid negativity: Oftentimes, we can be our own worst critics. Leading up to your wedding, try not to feed into negative beliefs and insecurities (even if that means taking a little social media break). If you need extra tools, positive affirmations and gratitude journaling can also be a big help.
- Set new goals: Not all wellness goals have to do with physique. In fact, Wilder Thomas encourages brides to dig a little deeper. “Rather than chasing an image, aim for alignment. Practice positive self-talk,” she says. “Reflect on how the best version of yourself lives, and build daily routines that support and honor that version of you.”
- Get grounded: If bridal fitness is stressing you out, take time to ground yourself. “I believe that grounding down into yourself and your relationship is the best thing to do to avoid this pressure,” Sands says. Wilder Thomas adds, “Ask yourself: What habits do I want to bring into this marriage that will support my relationship, bring me joy, and help me feel my best? That’s where the real focus should be.”
If you still find yourself losing the plot, Sands suggests taking a step back and reminding yourself why you’re getting married. Chances are, it’s because the person you’re marrying loves you for you, she says. “I always tell my bridal clients that the most beautiful bride is a happy bride. So focus on the things that make you happy.”
Chandler Plante (she/her) is an assistant health and fitness editor for PS. She has over four years of professional journalism experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributing to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group.
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